Several years ago I found myself sitting across from a therapist. I went to get help with being a bit scatter-brained so no biggie right!? After a couple sessions I was getting comfortable with the idea of ‘talking’ to someone. About my 3rd session I learned more about myself than I’m excited to admit. I’m here, writing this post, because others might feel similar.
During the beginning of my 3rd session I was asked several questions about life and stuff, and I was doing well answering in a correct way as if i have it all together, ya know. She asked if I had siblings, yes I do….2, sis and bro. She asked what they did for a living, and being the proud middle sister I am, I boasted that my sister is a Nail Artist with a cult following and a bunch of other fun stuff because she’s amazing. Then I went on about my younger brother and how he was to smart for High School and graduated early and went onto become a Computer Genius and all the wonderful things about him.
Then….in an instant, I burst into tears and said,
“I’m just a Mom”
Before I could think and stop the words from exiting my mouth, it was done, it was said, my face full of tears told the whole story. I tried to say I didn’t really mean it but we both knew that an emotional outburst like this says only one thing, I felt like ‘just a mom’.
I’m not excited to show sad emotion unless it’s unavoidable because #1 I don’t want to, #2 I don’t have to, #3 It’ll mess up my mascara! But, this was out of my control. My tears didn’t ask permission, because I would’ve said no-way, but my heart knew I had something to learn.
I was crushed! Disappointed in myself. Embarrassed. defeated.
The realization of this was difficult to handle. I LOVE being a full-time Mom! Motherhood was my career choice, the only job I ever wanted. When I was 12, I asked my Dad what I should be when I grew up, he expressed his admiration for Motherhood and said it’s the most honorable of all jobs. His love for the role and the prime example of my own Mother set me on a path to making a career out of Motherhood and being a full-time Mom. So, how could this be? How could I feel like just a mom?
I knew this had nothing to do with my siblings because they are extraordinary parents and I knew my parents were proud of me.
This was all me.
The days after this session hurt my heart and, I’m not gonna lie, my ego took a hit too. I talked to my husband about it and he was a huge support! But, he kinda saw it coming. Well great!
I knew I needed to reconnect with my ‘why’, why did I love being a Mom and why is it so important to me? I also knew I needed to invest more in myself and redefine what success means to me.
I started with taking care of me, my mind, and body. Mothers can’t give from an empty cup. I ramped up my self-care, turned Date Night up a notch ‘cuz that’s for me too, started volunteering on a regular basis, invested in my education and certifications, and many more things. It didn’t take long before I was back to feeling like ‘my self’ again.
Next, I needed to stop comparing to others and change how I thought of success, so I went to the dictionary.
suc·cess :: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
Woah! I realized I was successful! Dude, I’m a stellar Mom, my kids say so! What I had to convince myself was, which didn’t take too long, I was already a Professional Stay Home Mom and I was killing it! I realized my office was bigger than my husbands, ahem….I have the WHOLE HOUSE! Not that I’m comparing or anything but I totally am. I have a ‘company’ car, I get to shop for part of my living, throw parties, take naps, etc, etc.
When I was young my Mom reminded us often that when we’re saying something, “It’s All in HOW you say it.” Whether we’re talking to someone else or to ourselves, it’s all in how we say it….
I’m NOT Just a Mom. I’m the Mom! I’m their Mom! I’m The Sassy Mom!
I’m so grateful for this experience and for what it taught me. I was humbled that day and I’m forever changed and grateful!
Have you had similar experiences about how you feel about Motherhood? What helped you? Leave a comment below.