Monday Motivational #1 – Not Just a Mom

Several years ago I found myself sitting across from a therapist. I went to get help with being a bit scatter-brained so no biggie right!? After a couple sessions I was getting comfortable with the idea of ‘talking’ to someone. About my 3rd session I learned more about myself than I’m excited to admit. I’m here, writing this post, because others might feel similar.

During the beginning of my 3rd session I was asked several questions about life and stuff, and I was doing well answering in a correct way as if i have it all together, ya know. She asked if I had siblings, yes I do….2, sis and bro. She asked what they did for a living, and being the proud middle sister I am, I boasted that my sister is a Nail Artist with a cult following and a bunch of other fun stuff because she’s amazing. Then I went on about my younger brother and how he was to smart for High School and graduated early and went onto become a Computer Genius and all the wonderful things about him. 

Then….in an instant, I burst into tears and said, 

“I’m just a Mom”

Before I could think and stop the words from exiting my mouth, it was done, it was said, my face full of tears told the whole story. I tried to say I didn’t really mean it but we both knew that an emotional outburst like this says only one thing, I felt like ‘just a mom’.

I’m not excited to show sad emotion unless it’s unavoidable because #1 I don’t want to, #2 I don’t have to, #3 It’ll mess up my mascara! But, this was out of my control. My tears didn’t ask permission, because I would’ve said no-way, but my heart knew I had something to learn.

I was crushed! Disappointed in myself. Embarrassed. defeated.

The realization of this was difficult to handle. I LOVE being a full-time Mom! Motherhood was my career choice, the only job I ever wanted. When I was 12, I asked my Dad what I should be when I grew up, he expressed his admiration for Motherhood and said it’s the most honorable of all jobs. His love for the role and the prime example of my own Mother set me on a path to making a career out of Motherhood and being a full-time Mom. So, how could this be? How could I feel like just a mom?

I knew this had nothing to do with my siblings because they are extraordinary parents and I knew my parents were proud of me. 

This was all me. 

The days after this session hurt my heart and, I’m not gonna lie, my ego took a hit too. I talked to my husband about it and he was a huge support! But, he kinda saw it coming. Well great!

I knew I needed to reconnect with my ‘why’, why did I love being a Mom and why is it so important to me? I also knew I needed to invest more in myself and redefine what success means to me.

I started with taking care of me, my mind, and body. Mothers can’t give from an empty cup. I ramped up my self-care, turned Date Night up a notch ‘cuz that’s for me too, started volunteering on a regular basis, invested in my education and certifications, and many more things. It didn’t take long before I was back to feeling like ‘my self’ again.

Next, I needed to stop comparing to others and change how I thought of success, so I went to the dictionary.

suc·cess :: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

Woah! I realized I was successful! Dude, I’m a stellar Mom, my kids say so! What I had to convince myself was, which didn’t take too long, I was already a Professional Stay Home Mom and I was killing it! I realized my office was bigger than my husbands, ahem….I have the WHOLE HOUSE! Not that I’m comparing or anything but I totally am. I have a ‘company’ car, I get to shop for part of my living, throw parties, take naps, etc, etc.

When I was young my Mom reminded us often that when we’re saying something, “It’s All in HOW you say it.” Whether we’re talking to someone else or to ourselves, it’s all in how we say it….

I’m NOT Just a Mom. I’m the Mom! I’m their Mom! I’m The Sassy Mom!

I’m so grateful for this experience and for what it taught me. I was humbled that day and I’m forever changed and grateful!

Have you had similar experiences about how you feel about Motherhood? What helped you? Leave a comment below.

Get Over Yourself, he said….

For the longest time I’ve been trying to plan out my business and blog so it’s just right, it’s seriously been years.  I wanted to get all the details in place so it’s ready to go like a ‘normal’ person….

For me, it doesn’t work that way and I’m far from ‘normal’….

In my everyday life, I’m spontaneous, with a ‘let’s go’ or ‘we can do that, let’s do that’ kind of attitude – throwing caution to the wind. Sometimes, ok often times, my husband has to talk me down and pull me out of the clouds to get some kind of details and plans before I tell our 7 kids they have 20min to pack an overnight bag and get in the car because we’re going ‘somewhere’, again.

So why don’t I use that same kind of attitude in my business adventures….

Fear. of. Vulnerability. Fear of Failure.

Last night my husband said, in a very kind way, “Get Over Yourself. Stop using other things as an excuse to not get started. You know what you need to do, or maybe this isn’t what you want to do after all.” Normally, I’d fire back and defend my fears and excuses but I knew he was right.

So, here I am, no more excuses and quieting fear as best as I can. See you soon!

 

Hello Bestie! Subscribe and I promise to keep you updated so you won't miss a thing.